Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Great Pious Labours Bum School

It was around this time two summers ago when Pious Labours, and I were discussing things over a hot cup of coffee at the local Tim Hortons establishment, when Pious Labours relayed the story of how a homeless individual approached and tried to borrow $20. At the time, Pious Labours was masking a beard, employed as a prestigious Research Assistant, working downtown Toronto, and just generally "living the life" so to speak.

As the homeless man approached Pious Labours, his sheer magnetism kept Pious Labours entrenched to where he was on that fateful day by Yonge and Bloor. Pious Labours was mesmerized by the tales and regalia the homeless man was relating. At one point, as the homeless individual recounted his business plan to Pious Labours, where Pious Labours would lend him $20, and would be repaid $500 the very next day, the homeless man uttered "You deserve$500."

Pious Labours, not being a man of patience did not delve further into this topic, but, it was that point in time that this great youth had an epiphany, like a crystal bullet shooting into the center of his mind, clarifying his world: What if the government of Canada set up a school of etiquette for the homeless!!!

No longer would homeless people walk aimlessly around the streets, in raggity clothing, and vagabond-like goals of mischief, mayham, and nonsense. The government of Canada would train these "miscreants" to properly address passers-by on how to ask for loose pocket change, what street chemicals would make fine deodorant to wash away urine soaked clothing, and to provide the homeless with beard-brushes, so they can look their bestas they engage in that most noble of professions; pan-handling.

I am fortunate to have heard the Great Pious Labours recount this idea, and pray that this noble individal's idea comes to fruition.


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