Graduate Programs - The missions of the people in them

English PhD's... their sole mission in life is to deconstruct literary works, and insert some form of sick, sexual and perverted reasoning as to why an author inserted one particular article over another particular article before a noun/verb/pronoun/adverb...

Law students... their sole mission in life is to engage in a sycophantic discourse with others who did not do as well in their sociology, "international business"/politics/english/history, "drama" or other nonsensical course like ebonics that was offerred at university, all in a sick and perverse way of making themselves feel superior, when in fact they are not, and they know they are not, especially when a plumber will make more.

Medical Students... their sole mission in life is to talk to girls who could be their next malpractice suit waiting to hapen, and meeting potential lawyers to defend them of their sick and twisted perversions which got them in trouble in the first place. (Jay Lee would enjoy)

MBA students... their sole mission in life is to talk with other MBA's about the next "hot deal" that is going down in wall-street, wear golf shirts to a bar, and try to "mack" the ladies. Unfortunately, these people have no sick perversions, as their personality type is that of a castrated goat, with no sense of originality, comedy, or anything else remotely interesting.

Science MA's... their sole mission in life is to do something in life related in the sciences because a) they couldn't get into med school; and b) no one will hire you with a bachelors in science. Their sick perversions come from an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame that they could not get to med school, especially when some of the people who did get there are complete morons, and they will try to take pleasure in upstaging medical professionals in the future by documenting that medical doctors impropriety with a patient, and making a psychological analysis on it.

History PhD's... See above with regards toEnglish PhD's, only not as creative.

Teacher's College Students... Generally too dimwitted to get into another type of graduate school, and have a sick fantasy of fulfilling their childhood fantasis of banging a grade schooler/ other student, that they decide this is the profession to pursue, and take advantage of the teacher-student relationship.

Computer Science MA's... I have no idea what the fuck the angle of these people are. ALl I can tell is that they are normally fat and bald, without a creative thought in their mind (Really talented computer geeks don't do MA's in computer science). Their sick perversion is to experience the fruits of Engineering/Physics MA labors.

Engineering/Physics MA students... Joke about engineers. If a girl is lonely on Friday night, what should she do? Call an engineer. This truth has not been lost on Engineering and physics students as it is their ultimate goal in life to create enormous wind tunnels where they would sit on their hands in this wind tunnel, the G forces in this wind tunnel would cause their hands to become numb, and where these students would then use their numb hands in giving themselves a stranger (masterbating with a numb hand in the hopes that it feels like someone else is giving a hand-job). Computer Science MA's are normally the first to try this out.

Econometric Grad Students... Their sole mission in life is to prove that they are as geeky as their engineering/physics grad students, well-versed in bull-shitting as their law-student counterparts, and as current with the "next big deal" as their MBA counterparts that they suffer an acute form of schizophrenia.

Advice - DONT GO TO HIGHER EDUCATION